Paul Lynde (1926-1982) was the center square on the classic game show Hollywood Squares from 1968-1981 and he became a master of wit. Some of Lynde's famous quips during Hollywood Squares include:Q. Do female frogs croak?
A: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?
A: Yes, but he still won't go up to your apartment.
Q: Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us?
A: I don't know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.
Q: Is Billy Graham considered a good dresser?
A: No, but he's a terrific end table.
Q: Is using an electric vibrating machine a good way to lose weight?
A: That's what I told the saleslady, but she just winked.
Q: When is it a good idea to put your pantyhose in the microwave oven for two minutes?
A: When your house is surrounded by the police.
Q: Why do sheep sleep huddled up?
A: Because Little Boy Blue's a weirdo.
Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Make him bark.
Q: What is the name of the instrument with the light on the end, that the doctor sticks in your ear?
A: Oh, a cigarette.
Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Tape measures.
Q: According to the old song, "At night, when you're asleep, into your tent I'll creep." Who am I?
A: The scoutmaster.
Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
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