How to bathe a cat!!! (Now, before you get in a huff, look at the signature below)

Thoroughly clean the toilet.

Add the required amount of shampoo to the water in the bowl and have both lids up.

Find the cat and soothe it while you carry it towards the bathroom.

In one smooth, quick movement, put the cat into the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid so that it cannot escape.) The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet. The cat is actually enjoying this.

CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge as paws will be reaching out for anything they can find.

Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "Power Wash" and "Power Rinse", which I have found to be effective.

Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

The now clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside for the drying cycle.

Sincerely,

The Dog